10. Monday, August 18, 2008

"pain"

sometimes it's really hard being in so much pain. other times, if i can just keep going and stay busy, i can sometimes distract my mind somewhat from the intense headaches, the burning pain radiating down my neck, the needle-like pain piercing the heels of my feet, the overall throbbing pain in my hands, and the pain and dysfunction in my ear.

this past sunday was really difficult. i had been in more pain than normal all weekend, but had not let it slow me down...i didn't really have time to let it slow me down....but i felt the effects on sunday!

when the alarm went off sunday morning, philip patted my arm. i opened my eyes and tears immediately came. i told him, "i'm hurting so bad and i haven't even moved yet, much less stood up." philip said i should just stay home and stay in bed all day and rest. i didn't have to think twice before i responded, "nope! not gonna do it!"

as hard as it was to go on with my day, i knew that it was what i needed to do. first of all, i long for our church services...i want to be there....i need to be there. [Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with more of You!]

second, i refuse to allow this illness to make me weak. i will not surrender. i will not lie down in defeat. if i stay home to rest one day, it will become easier and easier to do it everyday.

god gives me strength...new every morning to get out of bed. he is giving me strength throughout each and every day to accomplish many things that i shouldn't have the strength to do. he is with me and is sustaining me.

with that being said, i am in a tremendous amount of pain. please continue to keep me in your prayers. i have peace and joy...my hope endures...my faith is strong...God is good!