"When I understand that everything happening to me is to make me more Christlike, it solves a great deal of anxiety." - A.W. Tozer
We finally have most of the results from my week long visit at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida last month. I have to admit, at times over the last few weeks I have felt quite overwhelmed. Yet, I KNOW that I am HIS and He is holding me in His hands!!
"You will keep him in perfect peace,Whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You!" Isaiah 26:3
What we found out is that, in addition to Lupus SLE & Pseudo Tumor Cerebri (along with issues with my thyroid, asthma, Raynaud's Phenomenon...the list goes on..) I have another auto immune disease, ANKYLOSING SPONDYLITIS (you can read more about it here http://www.medicinenet.com/ankylosing_spondylitis/article.htm)
The cardiologist I saw at Mayo also says I have inflammation in the blood vessels on my heart and has started me on daily Nitroglycerin. This really isn't a big deal, but is something my doctor's will continue to monitor.
I also had some abnormal results on tests that were run on my lungs, so they ordered a chest CT. They found two small "nodules" in my right lung. We are going to do another scan in 2 months... if there is any growth, we will do biopsies. In the meantime, I will see a Pulmonologist at Emory this Friday, July 29th.
"For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord." Jeremiah 30:17
While I do admit I have moments of frustration, aggrevation, self-pity, and just plain fear... I ultimately KNOW that I am right smack in the middle of God's plan for my life. I do NOT believe that God CAUSES sickness and pain in our lives, but I DO believe that sometimes He allows us to walk through pain, affliction, and trials for the purpose of shaping us and molding us into who He is calling us to be so that we are able to be used by Him in more powerful ways!!
"I am looking to the only One who holds me in His hands... His healing, His power, His love, He pours over me like tiny grains of sand... I am His, I am His, I am loved by the King and this... this shall sustain me!!" - From "I am His" by Michelle C. Bush
thank you all for your love and prayers!! God bless!
Michelle
7.25.2011
7.11.2011
47. July 11, 2011
This may be the very first time I've blogged twice in one day!! :o) WOW! I just felt burdened to.... As I prayed tonight, I felt a heaviness... then two different scriptures came to mind and immediately lifted the heaviness.... maybe someone else needs to hear this very thing....
"So we can say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?'" - Hebrews 13:6 (NLT)
When people hurt us, or do wrong against us, we are called to show them mercy, love, and grace. After all... that is what the Father has lavished on us, correct? I feel that I do that well, for the most part... I'm not always great at it... but we HAVE to GIVE IT OVER TO GOD!!
God spoke to me very clearly a while back... He has called me into ministry.... and He spoke very clearly that due to the calling He was placing on me, I would come under much attack. Well.... PROPHECY FULFILLED!! But I am confident that God will continue to use me and minister through me, not because of any greatness or worth on my part, but because He SAID it, I BELIEVE it, and He has the POWER to do it..... "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." - Philippians 1:6 (NLT)
The battle is truly NOT with flesh and blood... it is with the enemy of all enemies... No matter how tempting and easy it sometimes seems to put a human face on our attackers, it is none other than Satan himself. Therefore, we can't fight the battle on our own strength... in our own power, or go about things in the manner we THINK they should be handled. I know that God is helping and sustaining me through this... I know that He is battling the enemy on my behalf... AND on the behalf of those who have hurt me. I'm not the only one hurting. While they may be the ones doing wrong against me, they themselves are hurting... and GOD is THEIR HELPER just as He is MINE!!
My body is weak... my health is not good... (I will give an update in another post from my week at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville once all of my test results are in)... I struggle physically every day... in pain constantly... sometimes I struggle to do basic things... but I am CLINGING to Jeremiah 30:17 which says, "For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord." HALLELUJAH!!
I have NO IDEA what my future holds... I have no clue HOW God will use me in ministry or WHERE He will use me, but I KNOW that I am in HIS HANDS and HE is GUIDING my path!! I know that I am HIS!! I KNOW that HE calls me HIS CHOSEN, BEAUTIFUL, BELOVED PRINCESS!! I am royalty because my Heavenly Father is THE KING OF KINGS!! It matters not what anyone else has to say about me... my value comes from HIM ALONE!!
"So we can say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?'" - Hebrews 13:6 (NLT)
When people hurt us, or do wrong against us, we are called to show them mercy, love, and grace. After all... that is what the Father has lavished on us, correct? I feel that I do that well, for the most part... I'm not always great at it... but we HAVE to GIVE IT OVER TO GOD!!
God spoke to me very clearly a while back... He has called me into ministry.... and He spoke very clearly that due to the calling He was placing on me, I would come under much attack. Well.... PROPHECY FULFILLED!! But I am confident that God will continue to use me and minister through me, not because of any greatness or worth on my part, but because He SAID it, I BELIEVE it, and He has the POWER to do it..... "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." - Philippians 1:6 (NLT)
The battle is truly NOT with flesh and blood... it is with the enemy of all enemies... No matter how tempting and easy it sometimes seems to put a human face on our attackers, it is none other than Satan himself. Therefore, we can't fight the battle on our own strength... in our own power, or go about things in the manner we THINK they should be handled. I know that God is helping and sustaining me through this... I know that He is battling the enemy on my behalf... AND on the behalf of those who have hurt me. I'm not the only one hurting. While they may be the ones doing wrong against me, they themselves are hurting... and GOD is THEIR HELPER just as He is MINE!!
My body is weak... my health is not good... (I will give an update in another post from my week at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville once all of my test results are in)... I struggle physically every day... in pain constantly... sometimes I struggle to do basic things... but I am CLINGING to Jeremiah 30:17 which says, "For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord." HALLELUJAH!!
I have NO IDEA what my future holds... I have no clue HOW God will use me in ministry or WHERE He will use me, but I KNOW that I am in HIS HANDS and HE is GUIDING my path!! I know that I am HIS!! I KNOW that HE calls me HIS CHOSEN, BEAUTIFUL, BELOVED PRINCESS!! I am royalty because my Heavenly Father is THE KING OF KINGS!! It matters not what anyone else has to say about me... my value comes from HIM ALONE!!
46. July 11, 2011
“Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." - Jeremiah 32:17
To say it has been a difficult month or two is an understatement. I've dealt with pretty significant health issues, deep hurt & betrayal, painful losses, and some difficult changes in my life and family. I have felt anger, bitterness, confusion, hurt, sorrow, frustration, sadness, fear, and pain.
It is often difficult to trust God when we're in the middle of a storm... Yet... I DO!! I believe Jeremiah 32:17 with all my heart. NOTHING is TOO HARD for MY GOD!! So when I have those moments of anger, frustration, confusion, fear.... they are only MOMENTARY!!! Because I am keeping my focus on HIM!! And I know that even though I can't see "a way out" of this storm, I have FAITH that God IS going to bring me through this storm as He has so many times before!! "Faith is being sure of what we hope for & certain of what we do not see." Hebrew 11:1 I don't see the resolution... I don't see how some of the things I'm dealing with can be restored... I don't see my physical healing... BUT I have FAITH and that faith SUSTAINS ME!!
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Pt 5:7
I will not be consumed by this or any storm. Yes, I have moments of worry, fear, doubt, frustration... because I am human... but they do not consume me. His love, His mercy, His grace, His PEACE, His PRESENCE.... they CONSUME ME.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." I am clinging to this as I seek the Lord for guidance and direction for our family, for decisions that Philip and I will make for my health, for direction for my ministry, and for resolutions to all of the difficult situations we and our family members are dealing with.
GOD is GOOD!! He loves and cares for YOU!! TRUST and OBEY HIM and you WILL see Him MOVE!!
Thank you all for your prayers!!
To say it has been a difficult month or two is an understatement. I've dealt with pretty significant health issues, deep hurt & betrayal, painful losses, and some difficult changes in my life and family. I have felt anger, bitterness, confusion, hurt, sorrow, frustration, sadness, fear, and pain.
It is often difficult to trust God when we're in the middle of a storm... Yet... I DO!! I believe Jeremiah 32:17 with all my heart. NOTHING is TOO HARD for MY GOD!! So when I have those moments of anger, frustration, confusion, fear.... they are only MOMENTARY!!! Because I am keeping my focus on HIM!! And I know that even though I can't see "a way out" of this storm, I have FAITH that God IS going to bring me through this storm as He has so many times before!! "Faith is being sure of what we hope for & certain of what we do not see." Hebrew 11:1 I don't see the resolution... I don't see how some of the things I'm dealing with can be restored... I don't see my physical healing... BUT I have FAITH and that faith SUSTAINS ME!!
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Pt 5:7
I will not be consumed by this or any storm. Yes, I have moments of worry, fear, doubt, frustration... because I am human... but they do not consume me. His love, His mercy, His grace, His PEACE, His PRESENCE.... they CONSUME ME.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." I am clinging to this as I seek the Lord for guidance and direction for our family, for decisions that Philip and I will make for my health, for direction for my ministry, and for resolutions to all of the difficult situations we and our family members are dealing with.
GOD is GOOD!! He loves and cares for YOU!! TRUST and OBEY HIM and you WILL see Him MOVE!!
Thank you all for your prayers!!
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