44. December 31, 2010

God IS Faithful....

My little Micah... my "double miracle"... turned 7 today. SEVEN!! I can't believe it! Where has the time gone??!

Every year I get overwhelmed with emotions around his birthday. Ok...quite honestly, I get "overwhelmed with emotions" at both he AND Paxton's birthdays every year... but with Micah it is much more than the "my baby is growing up" sentiment. I refer to him as my "double miracle" because I was told at a young age that I would not be able to get pregnant on my own, if at all. [And God blessed me with TWO amazing boys!!] And Micah is a "double" miracle because he made it through a really rough pregnancy filled with concerns, fears, many hospital stays, tests, spinal taps, medicines, and many confused doctors that weren't really sure what our final outcome would be. Every year on Micah's birthday I am reminded once again of God's faithfulness. I'm reminded of His love and mercy. I'm reminded of His promises.

Psalm 91:4 "Because He loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name."

Isaiah 40:31 But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

As I look at my handsome, smart, funny, loving, compassionate, HEALTHY Micah, I am at a loss for words as to how to thank my Heavenly Father for protecting Micah through my very difficult pregnancy! I simply can't adequately thank Him and praise Him enough for His healing hand on both of our lives!! I'm in awe of the love of God. He has done so many miraculous things in my life... I have so much to be thankful for.... but for today, I praise Him for LIFE!

Thank you, friends and family, for your love and prayers! (For any new readers... you can read a little more about mine & Micah's journey in the previous post
http://michellecbush.blogspot.com/2008/08/monday-december-31-2007-post-from_15.html )

HAPPY NEW YEAR and GOD BLESS YOU!!

43. November 10, 2010

I've been "chewing" on Romans 12 all morning...really for the past two days. It is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I particularly love The Message version of verses 1 & 2:

^{Romans 1-2 (MSG)} "So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."

Well, I don't know about you... but my life (most of the time) seems anything but ordinary! Most days seem incredibly chaotic... get up, take the boys to school, go to work (or to any number of doctor appointments), pick up boys from school, karate, soccer, church, choir practice, homework, eat, bathe, feed & take care of dogs, laundry, dishes, more work... and so on! THOSE are the days that I struggle to "place before God as an offering." But God's word is clear... it says "place your EVERYDAY life...."! We must take the time to give Him everything, our everyday lives, and every piece of us. And sometimes, I simply fail at this!!

I found out yesterday that my doctor is increasing the dosage of one of my really strong meds (a chemo pill). I was just getting to the point where I was only "on bed rest" one day a week (Thursdays... after taking the meds on Wednesday evenings). Fridays and Saturdays were still a little "yucky", but I could a least do light housework and even get out of the house a little. I'm praying that as I increase the dosage (beginning tonight) the affects won't be too bad. THESE are also days I struggle to "place before God as an offering." I'm finding it easier and easier to lay around and just cry out to God. Which, isn't terrible in and of itself, but I'm finding that I'm WHINING more than I'm PRAISING sometimes. Does that ever happen to you? SHAME ON ME!! God has done so much in my life and blessed me far more than I could ever possibly deserve. Lord forgive me for sometimes allowing myself to sink into a pity party instead of praising You through every circumstance as I should!! Let my heart and soul cry out to you for mercy and sing of Your unending love and grace!

I love the promises of the scripture above. IF we give Him our everyday lives.... He will change us from the inside out! It says that He (unlike the world) brings out the best in us. We've all had experiences of being around people (sometimes even family) that....well..... brought out the worst in us. But God brings out our best. He is on our side!! I'm so thankful that even as I sit and type this, feeling somewhat inadequate and frustrated because I often fail Him by not completely giving Him everything... He not only takes me as I am, but He "brings out the best in me." He freely offers me mercy, grace, joy, love, hope, and riches beyond measure!! And I can rest in Him - safe and secure! He always carries me in the palm of His hand. He calls me His. He has called me, equipped me for ministry, and set me apart for His purposes. He loves me. PERIOD. And in return.... He simply wants my love, my worship, my praise, and for me to live my everyday life for Him. He will carry my burdens for me.... so why should I hold onto them? Lord, HELP ME to give everything to You... let me be a living sacrifice before you each and every day, offering everyday of my life to You and to Your service!

Here is the rest of Romans 12 (verses 3-21, The Message version). Chew on it, soak it up, read other versions.... take it to heart! God bless you!

³I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

^4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.

^6-8If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

^9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

^11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

^14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

^17-19Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."

^20-21Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

42. Monday, October 4, 2010

Hebrews 11:1
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Its that time of year again....I LOVE Fall... the beautiful colors of the changing leaves just makes me want to inhale deeply and praise God with every breath I exhale! It is a BEAUTIFUL season!! Everywhere I drive, I can't help but take notice of the beauty all around me! And it used to be my very favorite because of the nice cool Autumn breeze. Now, I still enjoy the visual beauty of fall, and the pleasant smells, and nice fall fashions.... but I'd rather view this beautiful season from my car window with my nice warm heater blowing on my feet... or from my living room window as I snuggle up under my electric blanket with a small space heater that "follows me" everywhere I go in my house.

Lupus and Raynaud's phenomenon have affected my body in such a way that temperatures below 90 are brutally cold to my body... bone aching, body shivering, skin purpeling, hair standing up... FREEZING COLD! Some times it seems I just can't get warm enough.... I feel cold from the inside out... and it is a miserable feeling! So if you see me dressed as if I'm heading to the North Pole while everyone else is seemingly comfortable in short sleeves... that is why! :)

Last week my rheumatologist (who treats me for lupus) said that due to more complications I've been having from lupus, he needed to start treating me "more aggressively." He added more medication to my already long list of prescriptions!! Once per week I have to take low dose chemotherapy. It is in pill form and the dose is no where near the amount a cancer patient would take. Nonetheless, the side effects and risks are... unpleasant to say the least. I was told to take it on a day when I am able to lay around for a couple of days after taking it. For me... that is Wednesday nights because I do not teach on Thursday or Friday. So for the next two to three months, my Thursday and Fridays will be a little unpleasant. I took it for the first time this past Wednesday night and was not able to get out of bed until Saturday, but am still not feeling quite myself today (Monday). My doc "hopes" that after two or three months, my body will get used to the medicine, the side effects will diminish, and I'll start to see improvements in the lupus.

I know that God's hand is still upon me. He is carrying me through this and will continue to give me unspeakable joy and everlasting strength each and every day! I am still praying for total healing... I'm praying with expectancy... I KNOW my healing IS coming... so until then, I will press on through this and praise Him with every ounce of strength He gives me!! I have FAITH in Him and am standing on the promises of His word. I love this quote from Dr. Tony Evans... "Faith is acting like it IS so even when it is NOT so in order that it WILL BE so simply because GOD SAID SO!" Hallelujah!

Psalm 91:14 (NIV) "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My name."

I LOVE the Message version of this promise....

Psalm 91:14 (MSG) "If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God, "I'll get you out of any trouble. I'll give you the best of care if you'll only get to know me and trust me. Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times; I'll rescue you...I'll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!"

WOW!! What a promise!! God is so good! God is LOVE! God is MERCY! God is GRACE! God is SHELTER! God is COMFORT! God is PEACE! GOD IS FAITHFUL TO KEEP HIS PROMISES WHEN WE ABIDE IN HIS PRESENCE AND LIVE FOR HIM!!

I have so much to be thankful for!! God has poured out His blessings on my life... far more than I could ever deserve. I'm so very thankful and praise Him for the blessings He has already poured out on my life. I am also praying with excitement and anticipation for the unattainable that He will bring forth in my life and in the lives of my family!!

41. Saturday, July 10, 2010

I LOVE SUMMER TIME!!
It is DEFINITELY my favorite time of year!!!
I LOVE.....
- Lazy mornings of me & the boys sleeping in until 10am (sorry, Philip...wish you weren't at a year round school so you could enjoy our lazy mornings!!)
- splashing the day away in the pool, the warmth of the sun (especially since my Lupus & Raynaud's does MUCH better in warm weather than the cold)
- board games, card games, and video games with my boys
- nature hikes through the wooded part of our land
- watching the boys swing, slide, jump on the trampoline and seem so carefree
- cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie
- being able to spend 24 hours a day with my precious boys who are growing WAY TOO FAST!
- staying up late (thus, the "lazy mornings" (: )
- spontaneous "field trips" to the airport, dairy queen, library, or where ever we want to go!

ahhhhh.... SUMMER TIME!! I don't want it to end.... I'm not ready to get back to early mornings, missing my boys all day while they are at school, homework, projects, soccer, basketball, karate, juggling our time, grabbing a quick bite for supper so we can run out the door to our next scheduled event.... Oh if Summer were only longer!!! I will savor every minute of this last month of summer!

40. April 26, 2010

I just want to shout this from the rooftops....

I am declaring RIGHT NOW that not only is God ABLE to heal me totally and completely from my sicknesses, to heal both of my boys from the illnesses they suffer from, to grow my ministry, to bless my family, to provide for us, to bring those that I love that are not saved into a deep relationship with Him....He is WILLING!!! I'm expecting BIG things in my life and in the lives of my family members and I KNOW He WILL fulfill more than I can & will ever ask for, hope for, or DREAM for!!!

God has been so FAITHFUL to me!! He has plans...plans to prosper me and my family... I will trust Him with my whole life...every part of it...and wait on His timing. BUT WHILE I WAIT... oooohhhh, while I wait I will trust Him, seek Him, serve Him, love Him, draw closer to Him, praise Him, share His love and grace with others, worship and adore Him, rest in Him, dwell in His presence, give to Him...with EVERYTHING I have....EVERYTHING I AM....and with every bit of energy and strength I have!!!

THIS JOY THAT I HAVE...THE WORLD DIDN'T GIVE IT AND THE WORLD CAN'T TAKE IT AWAY!!!!!!!

39. April 25, 2010

ROMANS 8:18 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

It has been a rough two weeks. The spinal tap did not go well...after 3 trips to the hospital over a span of a few days, they finally performed a blood patch which has slowly brought my spinal fluid pressure back to normal. I am feeling much better....not 100% just yet...but MUCH BETTER, PRAISE THE LORD!!!

My shoulder is continuing to heal...a little slower than expected after all that I went through the last week and a half, but I know in a few weeks it will be much better!

NO MATTER WHAT....I will remain steadfast and faithful to the Lord who heals me, strengthens me, and gives me EXCEEDING JOY!! With His Joy in my heart, there is nothing that can break me! He gives me joy, overflowing joy that makes life endurable.

ROMANS 8:18 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Our "PRESENT SUFFERINGS"....I will NOT continue to "suffer" for long...I KNOW that "this too shall pass" because that is what My God promised!! Because of that promise (along with many others), I can "hang on" and endure anything!! They are merely sufferings of the PRESENT TIME. That means...just for a moment...then they will be over!! Then comes the GLORY- "The glory which shall be revealed in us." The glory of God choosing ME- the glory of Christ's atonement- changing me from a dirty sinner to a radiant, redeemed, renewed, and saved child of God....divine LOVE....infinite MERCY and GRACE - the power of the Holy Spirit living in me, guiding me, giving me wisdom!! The glory of seeing my Jesus face to face!! OH, THE GLORY is SO WORTH THE SUFFERING!!!!

GOD has been SO FAITHFUL to me...I can NOT sit SILENT...I will praise Him with all that I have whether I physically "feel like it" or not!! I HAVE JOY, JOY, UNSPEAKABLE JOY!!!

Hang on, dear children!!! Endure your suffering for the moment....JOY COMES IN THE MORNING!!!

38. April 14, 2010

The Lord is good...He is strong and mighty....His outstretched hand reaches me in the depths of my needs. He is ever present, ever patient and ever faithful!! HALLELUJAH!!

Due to some complications I have been having the last few weeks, my neurologist at Emory believes my Intracranial pressure is elevated again from a flare up of my Pseudo Tumor Cerebri (the illness I was diagnosed with during my pregnancy with Micah in 2003). I spent over 8 hours in the ER here in Columbus last night. They were able to relieve some of my severe headache by giving me pain meds via IV (which is ALWAYS a last resort for me, and even with the pain I was in last night the doc nearly twisted my arm to take them after I refused!).

I will have to go to my neurologist at Emory tomorrow (Thursday, April 16th) to go through yet another lumbar puncture (spinal tap)...

This will be my 10th (or 11th??) spinal tap in the last 6 or 7 years (the first 7 LP's were during the last 4 months of my pregnancy with Micah!!)

I KNOW that I am in HIS HANDS and HE WILL SUSTAIN me. With that being said, it is a difficult process and has difficult side effects. I greatly appreciate your prayers!

I will keep you posted!!
Love and blessings, Michelle

37. April 06, 2010

Praise the Lord!! It is a new day...each and EVERY day is a NEW day!!! PRAISE the LORD!!

Today I am PRAISING THE LORD for SPRING!!! I love the warmth of the sun!!! I'm not such a fan of the "gold dust", but it is WELL WORTH it for the warmth that comes with Spring!! 82 degrees today...blue jeans, a shirt, and a light weight jacket....and I was SOOO COMFORTABLE!! YAY!! No more layers and layers of clothes and heavy coats, gloves, scarves, hat, hand warmers, toe warmers....only to still FREEZE to death!!! I LOVE SPRING and SUMMER....they are much more "lupus & Raynaud's friendly" seasons!! :)

My shoulder is healing....slowly, but healing!! My surgery was two and a half weeks ago (torn labrum and repair of a suture from previous rotator cuff surgery) so I still have a long way to go...but I'm "getting there!" :)

Thank you all for your many prayers, sweet cards, encouraging words, delicious meals, love and support during my recovery!! Love and blessings to you all!!!

36. February 23, 2010

I haven't updated in a while....

I've been managing my lupus fairly well. The cold season is my most difficult time of the year. Because of Raynaud's Phenomenon (associated with/caused by lupus) my body is extremely sensitive to cold....to the point that cold = severe pain...especially in my hands and feet. But, I'm managing it. No sense in constantly complaining, or staying bundled up in the house...life is TOO SHORT!! :) So I praise the Lord that HE ALONE gives me the strength to press on and endure....I keep going only because HE enables me to!

I have re-injured my shoulder! :( (I had torn rotator cuff & torn labrum surgery on my right shoulder last April after falling down the stairs and continuing to workout and coach basketball for several months after the fact!) I have not had an MRI yet, but my ortho doc says he is pretty sure I have re-torn the labrum in my right shoulder and may have pulled my bicep muscle from the bone as well. I go back March 8th (he wanted to wait for the swelling and inflammation to go down before scheduling the MRI). I'm not looking forward to potentially having surgery again, but am trying to stay positive and know that "this too shall pass"......

I'm picking up new glasses today....not to replace my lovely telescope glasses for driving, but to wear on a daily basis to help a little with my distance vision and reading. They won't miraculously bring my vision to 20/20 the way normal vision loss patients can with glasses or contacts, but the doc says they will help make things a little better for me. ANY HELP is better than my "normal" 20/200 (to 20/160 on good days) vision. :)

I will also finally be getting my hearing aid for my right ear this week. YAY!!! Hopefully this will be a smooth transition!

God has been so faithful to me! He has blessed me far beyond measure! I will never complain about the small challenges I have to face...I WILL praise Him daily for the HUGE BLESSINGS in my life!! How we look at life...it's challenges, obstacles, trials, tests, difficulties, blessings, joys, gifts....is all OUR CHOICE!!! Choose wisely!!

Blessings, peace, love and joy to you all!! :)