42. Monday, October 4, 2010

Hebrews 11:1
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Its that time of year again....I LOVE Fall... the beautiful colors of the changing leaves just makes me want to inhale deeply and praise God with every breath I exhale! It is a BEAUTIFUL season!! Everywhere I drive, I can't help but take notice of the beauty all around me! And it used to be my very favorite because of the nice cool Autumn breeze. Now, I still enjoy the visual beauty of fall, and the pleasant smells, and nice fall fashions.... but I'd rather view this beautiful season from my car window with my nice warm heater blowing on my feet... or from my living room window as I snuggle up under my electric blanket with a small space heater that "follows me" everywhere I go in my house.

Lupus and Raynaud's phenomenon have affected my body in such a way that temperatures below 90 are brutally cold to my body... bone aching, body shivering, skin purpeling, hair standing up... FREEZING COLD! Some times it seems I just can't get warm enough.... I feel cold from the inside out... and it is a miserable feeling! So if you see me dressed as if I'm heading to the North Pole while everyone else is seemingly comfortable in short sleeves... that is why! :)

Last week my rheumatologist (who treats me for lupus) said that due to more complications I've been having from lupus, he needed to start treating me "more aggressively." He added more medication to my already long list of prescriptions!! Once per week I have to take low dose chemotherapy. It is in pill form and the dose is no where near the amount a cancer patient would take. Nonetheless, the side effects and risks are... unpleasant to say the least. I was told to take it on a day when I am able to lay around for a couple of days after taking it. For me... that is Wednesday nights because I do not teach on Thursday or Friday. So for the next two to three months, my Thursday and Fridays will be a little unpleasant. I took it for the first time this past Wednesday night and was not able to get out of bed until Saturday, but am still not feeling quite myself today (Monday). My doc "hopes" that after two or three months, my body will get used to the medicine, the side effects will diminish, and I'll start to see improvements in the lupus.

I know that God's hand is still upon me. He is carrying me through this and will continue to give me unspeakable joy and everlasting strength each and every day! I am still praying for total healing... I'm praying with expectancy... I KNOW my healing IS coming... so until then, I will press on through this and praise Him with every ounce of strength He gives me!! I have FAITH in Him and am standing on the promises of His word. I love this quote from Dr. Tony Evans... "Faith is acting like it IS so even when it is NOT so in order that it WILL BE so simply because GOD SAID SO!" Hallelujah!

Psalm 91:14 (NIV) "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My name."

I LOVE the Message version of this promise....

Psalm 91:14 (MSG) "If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God, "I'll get you out of any trouble. I'll give you the best of care if you'll only get to know me and trust me. Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times; I'll rescue you...I'll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!"

WOW!! What a promise!! God is so good! God is LOVE! God is MERCY! God is GRACE! God is SHELTER! God is COMFORT! God is PEACE! GOD IS FAITHFUL TO KEEP HIS PROMISES WHEN WE ABIDE IN HIS PRESENCE AND LIVE FOR HIM!!

I have so much to be thankful for!! God has poured out His blessings on my life... far more than I could ever deserve. I'm so very thankful and praise Him for the blessings He has already poured out on my life. I am also praying with excitement and anticipation for the unattainable that He will bring forth in my life and in the lives of my family!!

41. Saturday, July 10, 2010

I LOVE SUMMER TIME!!
It is DEFINITELY my favorite time of year!!!
I LOVE.....
- Lazy mornings of me & the boys sleeping in until 10am (sorry, Philip...wish you weren't at a year round school so you could enjoy our lazy mornings!!)
- splashing the day away in the pool, the warmth of the sun (especially since my Lupus & Raynaud's does MUCH better in warm weather than the cold)
- board games, card games, and video games with my boys
- nature hikes through the wooded part of our land
- watching the boys swing, slide, jump on the trampoline and seem so carefree
- cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie
- being able to spend 24 hours a day with my precious boys who are growing WAY TOO FAST!
- staying up late (thus, the "lazy mornings" (: )
- spontaneous "field trips" to the airport, dairy queen, library, or where ever we want to go!

ahhhhh.... SUMMER TIME!! I don't want it to end.... I'm not ready to get back to early mornings, missing my boys all day while they are at school, homework, projects, soccer, basketball, karate, juggling our time, grabbing a quick bite for supper so we can run out the door to our next scheduled event.... Oh if Summer were only longer!!! I will savor every minute of this last month of summer!

40. April 26, 2010

I just want to shout this from the rooftops....

I am declaring RIGHT NOW that not only is God ABLE to heal me totally and completely from my sicknesses, to heal both of my boys from the illnesses they suffer from, to grow my ministry, to bless my family, to provide for us, to bring those that I love that are not saved into a deep relationship with Him....He is WILLING!!! I'm expecting BIG things in my life and in the lives of my family members and I KNOW He WILL fulfill more than I can & will ever ask for, hope for, or DREAM for!!!

God has been so FAITHFUL to me!! He has plans...plans to prosper me and my family... I will trust Him with my whole life...every part of it...and wait on His timing. BUT WHILE I WAIT... oooohhhh, while I wait I will trust Him, seek Him, serve Him, love Him, draw closer to Him, praise Him, share His love and grace with others, worship and adore Him, rest in Him, dwell in His presence, give to Him...with EVERYTHING I have....EVERYTHING I AM....and with every bit of energy and strength I have!!!

THIS JOY THAT I HAVE...THE WORLD DIDN'T GIVE IT AND THE WORLD CAN'T TAKE IT AWAY!!!!!!!

39. April 25, 2010

ROMANS 8:18 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

It has been a rough two weeks. The spinal tap did not go well...after 3 trips to the hospital over a span of a few days, they finally performed a blood patch which has slowly brought my spinal fluid pressure back to normal. I am feeling much better....not 100% just yet...but MUCH BETTER, PRAISE THE LORD!!!

My shoulder is continuing to heal...a little slower than expected after all that I went through the last week and a half, but I know in a few weeks it will be much better!

NO MATTER WHAT....I will remain steadfast and faithful to the Lord who heals me, strengthens me, and gives me EXCEEDING JOY!! With His Joy in my heart, there is nothing that can break me! He gives me joy, overflowing joy that makes life endurable.

ROMANS 8:18 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Our "PRESENT SUFFERINGS"....I will NOT continue to "suffer" for long...I KNOW that "this too shall pass" because that is what My God promised!! Because of that promise (along with many others), I can "hang on" and endure anything!! They are merely sufferings of the PRESENT TIME. That means...just for a moment...then they will be over!! Then comes the GLORY- "The glory which shall be revealed in us." The glory of God choosing ME- the glory of Christ's atonement- changing me from a dirty sinner to a radiant, redeemed, renewed, and saved child of God....divine LOVE....infinite MERCY and GRACE - the power of the Holy Spirit living in me, guiding me, giving me wisdom!! The glory of seeing my Jesus face to face!! OH, THE GLORY is SO WORTH THE SUFFERING!!!!

GOD has been SO FAITHFUL to me...I can NOT sit SILENT...I will praise Him with all that I have whether I physically "feel like it" or not!! I HAVE JOY, JOY, UNSPEAKABLE JOY!!!

Hang on, dear children!!! Endure your suffering for the moment....JOY COMES IN THE MORNING!!!

38. April 14, 2010

The Lord is good...He is strong and mighty....His outstretched hand reaches me in the depths of my needs. He is ever present, ever patient and ever faithful!! HALLELUJAH!!

Due to some complications I have been having the last few weeks, my neurologist at Emory believes my Intracranial pressure is elevated again from a flare up of my Pseudo Tumor Cerebri (the illness I was diagnosed with during my pregnancy with Micah in 2003). I spent over 8 hours in the ER here in Columbus last night. They were able to relieve some of my severe headache by giving me pain meds via IV (which is ALWAYS a last resort for me, and even with the pain I was in last night the doc nearly twisted my arm to take them after I refused!).

I will have to go to my neurologist at Emory tomorrow (Thursday, April 16th) to go through yet another lumbar puncture (spinal tap)...

This will be my 10th (or 11th??) spinal tap in the last 6 or 7 years (the first 7 LP's were during the last 4 months of my pregnancy with Micah!!)

I KNOW that I am in HIS HANDS and HE WILL SUSTAIN me. With that being said, it is a difficult process and has difficult side effects. I greatly appreciate your prayers!

I will keep you posted!!
Love and blessings, Michelle

37. April 06, 2010

Praise the Lord!! It is a new day...each and EVERY day is a NEW day!!! PRAISE the LORD!!

Today I am PRAISING THE LORD for SPRING!!! I love the warmth of the sun!!! I'm not such a fan of the "gold dust", but it is WELL WORTH it for the warmth that comes with Spring!! 82 degrees today...blue jeans, a shirt, and a light weight jacket....and I was SOOO COMFORTABLE!! YAY!! No more layers and layers of clothes and heavy coats, gloves, scarves, hat, hand warmers, toe warmers....only to still FREEZE to death!!! I LOVE SPRING and SUMMER....they are much more "lupus & Raynaud's friendly" seasons!! :)

My shoulder is healing....slowly, but healing!! My surgery was two and a half weeks ago (torn labrum and repair of a suture from previous rotator cuff surgery) so I still have a long way to go...but I'm "getting there!" :)

Thank you all for your many prayers, sweet cards, encouraging words, delicious meals, love and support during my recovery!! Love and blessings to you all!!!

36. February 23, 2010

I haven't updated in a while....

I've been managing my lupus fairly well. The cold season is my most difficult time of the year. Because of Raynaud's Phenomenon (associated with/caused by lupus) my body is extremely sensitive to cold....to the point that cold = severe pain...especially in my hands and feet. But, I'm managing it. No sense in constantly complaining, or staying bundled up in the house...life is TOO SHORT!! :) So I praise the Lord that HE ALONE gives me the strength to press on and endure....I keep going only because HE enables me to!

I have re-injured my shoulder! :( (I had torn rotator cuff & torn labrum surgery on my right shoulder last April after falling down the stairs and continuing to workout and coach basketball for several months after the fact!) I have not had an MRI yet, but my ortho doc says he is pretty sure I have re-torn the labrum in my right shoulder and may have pulled my bicep muscle from the bone as well. I go back March 8th (he wanted to wait for the swelling and inflammation to go down before scheduling the MRI). I'm not looking forward to potentially having surgery again, but am trying to stay positive and know that "this too shall pass"......

I'm picking up new glasses today....not to replace my lovely telescope glasses for driving, but to wear on a daily basis to help a little with my distance vision and reading. They won't miraculously bring my vision to 20/20 the way normal vision loss patients can with glasses or contacts, but the doc says they will help make things a little better for me. ANY HELP is better than my "normal" 20/200 (to 20/160 on good days) vision. :)

I will also finally be getting my hearing aid for my right ear this week. YAY!!! Hopefully this will be a smooth transition!

God has been so faithful to me! He has blessed me far beyond measure! I will never complain about the small challenges I have to face...I WILL praise Him daily for the HUGE BLESSINGS in my life!! How we look at life...it's challenges, obstacles, trials, tests, difficulties, blessings, joys, gifts....is all OUR CHOICE!!! Choose wisely!!

Blessings, peace, love and joy to you all!! :)

35. October 16, 2009

We are called to SPEAK LIFE.....to ALL men. How can we speak death with the same tongues that we so fluently quote scriptures and pray eloquent prayers with?

Proverbs 18:21 (Amplified Bible)..."Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]."

One of the most impactful things I have heard Joyce Meyer say is "WHAT COMES OUT OF THE MOUTH REVEALS THE CONDITION OF OUR HEART."

As Christians, we are held to a higher standard...the Bible makes it very clear...we are to control our tongues. How many times can we say, "ooooooopps...I shouldn't have said that!!"?? We're not fooling anyone. We can know the Word of God inside and out...quote it to all who will hear, tell others how they are supposed to live...but in the end, everyone will know us by our HEART..."what comes out of our mouth reveals the condition of our heart."

In "Top 10 Qualities of a Great Leader" by Phil Pringle, he says, "Wisdom knows what to say, and when and how to say it. She knows what is appropriate for the moment. Fools are recognized by their inappropriateness."

So what does God's word have to say about our tongues and the words we speak???

Matthew 12:37 (Amplified Bible)
"For by your words you will be justified and acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned and sentenced."

Psalm 34:13 (Amplified Bible)
"Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit."

It is so interesting to me that the jaw muscle and tongue are considered some of the strongest muscles in our bodies...So small...yet so powerful...so difficult to control...

James 3:5-18 (Amplified Bible)
"5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze!
6 And the tongue is a fire. [The tongue is a] world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth (the cycle of man's nature), being itself ignited by hell (Gehenna).
7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea animal, can be tamed and has been tamed by human genius (nature).
8 But the human tongue can be tamed by no man. It is a restless (undisciplined, irreconcilable) evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who were made in God's likeness!
10 Out of the same mouth come forth blessing and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to be so.
11 Does a fountain send forth [simultaneously] from the same opening fresh water and bitter?
12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine figs? Neither can a salt spring furnish fresh water.
13 Who is there among you who is wise and intelligent? Then let him by his noble living show forth his [good] works with the [unobtrusive] humility [which is the proper attribute] of true wisdom.
14 But if you have bitter jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry, selfish ambition) in your hearts, do not pride yourselves on it and thus be in defiance of and false to the Truth.
15 This [superficial] wisdom is not such as comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual (animal), even devilish (demoniacal).
16 For wherever there is jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry and selfish ambition), there will also be confusion (unrest, disharmony, rebellion) and all sorts of evil and vile practices.
17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).
18 And the harvest of righteousness (of conformity to God's will in thought and deed) is [the fruit of the seed] sown in peace by those who work for and make peace [in themselves and in others, that peace which means concord, agreement, and harmony between individuals, with undisturbedness, in a peaceful mind free from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts]."

Words have tremendous power--either to disarm anger and lead people away from arguments, or to inflame disagreement and hate. God wants us to use our tongue to defuse hate and anger whenever we hear it....not fuel it...or worse, ignite or start it.

Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
"1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly. 3 The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good. 4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."

HE SEES WHAT IS IN OUR HEARTS!!! We can't be effective witnesses, sharing His light and His love, if we are a "crusher of spirits." ......"What comes out of our mouth, reveals the condition of our hearts." THIS is how we are known to others!!!

Proverbs 15:18 (NIV) "A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel."

Relinquish your tongue...and your HEART...to the Lord. Allow Him to have full control. There is no task to small or too large for Him!!

I love The Message version of Ephesians 4:29-31...

Ephesians 4:29-31 (The Message)
"29Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.
30Don't grieve God. Don't break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don't take such a gift for granted.
31-32Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you."

Very clear instructions. HE can give us the strength and power to control our tongues. We simply have to ask...and truly give Him control.

1 Peter 3:8-12 (New International Version)
"8Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. 11He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. 12For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."

Lord, I give you control over my heart, my thoughts, and my tongue. Help me to seek and pursue peace...to share your love, mercy, and grace with everyone...even those who may persecute me.

34. July 27, 2009

its been about 3 months since my surgery and finally, my shoulder is beginning to heal!!! still hurts more than i'd like it to, but it is definitely doing much better. i've been out of the sling for about 3 weeks....getting a much better range of motion, though i'm still limited a pretty good bit. I'm slowly able to lift light items and can even use both arms to fix my hair now, hahahaha!!! :)

my lupus is about the same...no major changes...good days and bad days. i've had a lot of headaches the past week, but nothing that i can't handle through the strength of the Lord. He is so very near and present and comforts and strengthens me daily.

as i studied His word late last night, God really spoke some things into my heart about love. Romans 12:9-11 says....(New Living Translation) "Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically."

God calls us to love all people ...a true & genuine love...love is more than empty words or ritualistic habits....love is more than saying kind words to some one's face just to walk away and speak ugliness about that person....love is more than just knowing the "right things to say".....love is more than just using "love" (as in...."i'm saying this to you in love") as a mask to say whatever we want to people....love is more than just a hug around the neck or a kiss on the cheek....God gives us a very clear definition of real, genuine love.....

1 Corinthians 13
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not LOVE, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not LOVE, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not LOVE, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.

We can go to church 5 times a week, serve in as many ministries as possible, have all the gifts and talents and do and say all the "right things" at the "right times"....but according to His word, if we don't have LOVE, we gain nothing. We can give prophecy, quote scripture, fluff our spiritual feathers and show everyone how much we know about God's word.....but if we don't have love, we are "clanging cymbals" in God's ears.

Its easy to love the "lovable"....but are we loving the UNLOVABLE?? Truly loving them with a genuine love as described in 1 Corinthians 13? I'm not only talking about felons, the homeless, the broken (sometimes it is easier to love those you do not know more so than people you know well....it is often easier to see God's forgiveness for perfect strangers than our own friends or even family)....but I'm talking about the person that disrespected you at work... the checkout girl that was rude to you...that family member that is so difficult to love... The person at church that gets under your skin... The people who have wronged you, hurt you, abused you....that person that you are envious of...are you loving them? Are you holding tight to the number of times they've wronged you or hurt you?? Read 1 Corinthians 13 AGAIN....

Lord, help me to love EVERYONE with a true and genuine love. Forgive me for counting wrongs, for not letting go of anger or bitterness towards those who hurt me. Help me to love the unlovables in my life...ALL of them...help me to let go of past hurts...heal those wounds, Lord Jesus, and give me the strength to move on. In Jesus' holy, righteous name, AMEN!

33. June 14, 2009

my arm hurts. not so much my shoulder....more my bicep & through my elbow. i'm trying to go without my sling as much as possible...saving it mostly for when i'm out in large crowds (more for protection than anything else). i'm trying to be patient, but i admit...i am a little frustrated....i'm really ready for it to feel better!! but i will wait....patiently, i will wait....

god has really done many works in my life....i don't have the time or space to even begin telling you all that he has done for me. possibly one of the more dramatic changes he has brought about in my personal life is changing how i view myself....how i value myself.....choosing to believe His word and what He says i am as opposed to what anyone in this world says about me. FREEDOM.....freedom from obsessing over silly things that don't matter....freedom from getting so nervous before i sing that i would physically become sick...freedom from being so overwhelmed by what other people thought of me that i overworked myself trying to impress people or shape their view of me....freedom to freely accept god's love for me...just as i am...undeserving, yet loved by Him....the real me!!

i feel closer to Him than ever before. i feel a stronger sense of His presence in my daily life. i feel a boldness that i've never had before. i want more...more of Him...in every way. i want to be used by Him...however, wherever, and whenever he calls me...

Lord, help me to hear your still, small voice and to be obedient to you. help me to love others as you love me...give me strength, both physically & mentally...fill me with your word, your wisdom, your love, your compassion, and your grace.

31. Saturday, May 23, 2009

school is out!!! whoo hoo!! it has been a crazy couple of weeks....numerous award ceremonies, class parties, concerts, and more! it has been an emotional week for me...my "baby" will be moving on to kindergarten next year and my "bigger baby" is moving from elementary school to "intermediate school" (a new harris county thing....5th & 6th graders will be at Creekside Intermediate School...middle school will now be 7th & 8th graders only). They are growing up so fast!!! :( Please, Lord...slow time down...just a little!!! ;)

My shoulder is continuing to heal, rather slowly it seems, but it is getting some better. I'm still going to physical therapy twice a week (and will be for at least 8 more weeks, then once a week for several weeks after that). I know it has only been 4 weeks, but I'm still surprised at how much pain I'm having. Hoping and praying that it will get better SOON!!

Please keep Paxton in your prayers. He was diagnosed a couple of years ago as being in a "pre-glaucoma state." He has to go every 6 months for tests to make sure there haven't been any changes in his vision and in the pressure in his eyes. Lately his right eye has been bothering him a lot. For a few months now, he has complained that it "feels funny." This past Tuesday he went for his normal 6 month check and the doc mentioned the pressure in his right eye was a LITTLE higher, but was still in the normal range. His vision and visual field tests (checks peripheral vision) were also a little lower in his right eye. Combined with him complaining about his right eye, we're a little concerned. His doctor said it is ok for now, but that we'll keep a close watch on it, and do some more tests in another 6 months. We're praying that there will be no more changes...unless for the better :) ....thank you for agreeing with us in prayer for Paxton! His asthma has also been worse than normal lately. He's had to use his rescue inhaler 3 or 4 times a day, every day for the past week or two. :( On a positive note, his stomach seems to be doing well right now!! Mostly good days, PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Micah is beginning to complain more and more about his stomach. He told me recently that his "tummy hurts like the pizza kind of hurt." :( starting to wonder if he may also be lactose intolerant like Paxton. He also has pretty bad acid reflux, which he has taken medicine for since he was a few weeks old...and pizza can definitely aggrevate reflux. It is really hard to adjust the diet of a 5 year old....especially a REALLY PICKY 5 year old...I would greatly appreciate your prayers for his little tummy and wisdom for Philip and I as we try to pick foods that will be better for his tummy, but are foods that he will actually EAT!!

I've had several flare ups with my Lupus recently, but I'm managing....God continues to give me the strength to carry on each day. I'm overwhelmed and amazed by His outpouring of love, mercy, grace, healing, blessings and strength in my life. I will continue to shout His praises - God is great and greatly to be praised!! When my body is weak, my soul and voice continue to be strong...I will NOT let a ROCK CRY OUT in MY place!!! I'm gonna shout for Jesus as long as I have breath!!

Thank you for your love, support, encouragement and especially your prayers!!

30. April 21, 2009

i'm recovering from my shoulder surgery. the surgery went well, but i'm in for a long recovery.

i had a torn rotator cuff, my labrum was torn off the ball of my shoulder, had a bone spur in my shoulder and some bursitis (inflammation) that they had to clean out. :(

my right arm will be in a sling for at least 6 weeks but i cannot lift anything or move my arm above chest level for at least 12 weeks. i'll also be sleeping in a recliner during that time.

all in all, i'm doing ok. the pain is worse than i anticipated, but i am managing it.

thanks for all of your encouragement & prayers!!
blessings!
michelle

29. March 19, 2009

i had an appointment with my orthopedic doc today to get the results from the MRI he did on my shoulder last week.

i have a torn rotator cuff, possibly a lateral tear (doc says he suspects it, but won't know for sure until he gets in there)....and he mentioned something about the the ball of my shoulder and thickening of my rotator cuff...sorry...he said so much, i'm confused about all the "other stuff." :)

surgery is set for wednesday, april 15th at st.francis hospital. i'll have to stay over night one night, but my doc says after that i should feel pretty good and could even go back to work the next day! :) (pray that this is true...i'm singing for a ladies' ministry retreat that FRIDAY NIGHT....and doing a small concert with a friend at another local church that Sunday morning). i'll have to have my arm in a sling for six weeks (which is the most frustrating part for me) and i'll do 12 weeks of physical therapy....after all that, i should be good to go!! :)

it hurts a LOT...i've been dealing with it for quite a while...really ready to get this over with....but i wanted to wait until AFTER our trip to DISNEY WORLD (april 1st - 8th) so.....april 15th it is!

thanks so much for your continued prayers. this week has been a particularly rough week for me with regards to my lupus...i've been in a lot of pain all week...i'm really struggling with my hands.

God is great....His strength sustains me and His peace comforts me. I am His.

A good friend shared these lyrics from a great song today.....it really touched me.....hope it does the same for you!

When he said live I had to breathe

When he said dance I felt heaven’s melody

When he said sing I heard redemption’s song

And He gave me the faith to carry on

When he said live

28. March 15, 2009

so sorry for not updating sooner....

...but PRAISE THE LORD!! i did NOT have to have the needle biopsy!! :) YAY!! when i got to the office, my doc did an ultrasound himself and said that he "wasn't as impressed as the radiologist" regarding my cysts. when scheduling my biopsy and giving me the report of the last ultrasound, he was reporting based on what the radiologist's report said. the radiologist expressed concern about a "complex cyst"...my doc said he disagreed. not sure who is right (which is kind of scary) but he agreed there was enough concern to keep an eye on it....so we'll do another ultrasound in 6 months and take it from there. all in all....i was just happy to escape without the needle in my neck!! :)

i had an MRI yesterday on my shoulder....going to the doc this thursday for the results. :)

blessings to you all!!

27. February 20, 2009

Just wanted to give a quick update....

I think the meds I'm on for the Lupus and Raynaud's phenomenon are helping...some...my days vary a great deal, but I do seem to be having a few more good days than bad days!! :) Hopefully once I get through the winter, the Raynaud's won't be aggravated quite so much...WARM WEATHER, COME QUICKLY!!! (never thought I'd hear myself say that!!)

I do have a few "bumps in the road" that have come up recently......

I have quite possibly torn my rotator cuff...I've been going to physical therapy for several weeks now, but instead of my shoulder getting better, it has only gotten worse. I will probably have an MRI in the next week or two to find out for sure. My shoulder has bothered me for MONTHS...but honestly, with all the pain I deal with...I just kind of "put it in a box" with all the other pain and tried to just deal with it and keep going. My rheumatologist (Lupus doc) got on to me and insisted I go to physical therapy for my shoulder and my knees because during an exam he could feel the inflammation and both feel AND HEAR my bones crunching and popping in my knees and in my shoulder. He didn't agree with my philosophy of "I already hurt so much anyway...what's a few more areas of pain!!" =) His opinion was, "you have enough pain to deal with, why not take care of the pain that you can easily treat?!!" Anyway....we'll see where it goes from here.....

A few weeks ago my endocrinologist (doctor I see about my thyroid...I have hypothyroidism...a common complication from Lupus) wanted to do a repeat ultrasound on my thyroid (a year or two ago he did an ultrasound and found several cysts...said they were all small, the same size...nothing to worry about). I went back today for the results of the ultrasound that was done a couple of weeks ago. I have a large nodule on my thyroid...large enough that it has made the whole left side of my thyroid larger than the right side of my thyroid. This was a "significant change" from my last ultrasound. I will go in a couple of weeks for a needle biopsy. It will take 4 to 6 weeks for the results to come back. (crazy...you can pee on a stick and find out if there is life inside of you in 90 seconds....but have to wait 6 weeks to find out if you have cancer!!) My doc said that honestly, we'll probably end up having to take my thyroid out whether it is cancer or not.....the nodule is large and with me having a history of cancer (malignant melanoma on my upper back in 2000 - melanoma has the highest rate of reoccurring / matastisizing somewhere else in your body)...sooo its better to be safe.

Just want to keep you all in the loop so you know specifically how to pray!! :) I am OK!!! Honestly...if you're reading this...please do not be worried about "how I'm handling all of this." I'M NOT.....but My Father is....there is NOTHING too big for Him...that is my hope that endures all things....I will not be shaken, but will stand firm in His Word and in His promises to take care of me!! I do greatly appreciate your prayers!! They encourage me more than you know!! I love you all!!