49. September 27, 2011

Exodus 23:25 “You must serve only the Lord your God. If you do, I will bless you with food and water, and I will protect you from illness."

It has been an INTERESTING 5 weeks...

~ I hit a deer, wrecking my car as I was taking the boys to school one morning. Did over $5,000 worth of damage to my Honda Pilot... After 4 weeks, I FINALLY got my car back last week!!

~ Paxton is being tested for one of the auto-immune illnesses I have (Ankylosing Spondylitis)...

~ Labor Day weekend, as the four of us headed to Atlanta Motor Speedway for a NASCAR race, I had to be rushed to the ER in Fayettville (right outside of Atlanta). I was there, in IMCU for 4 days, after having a mini-stroke and having complications with my oxygen levels. I have been on oxygen 24/7 since then... AND...

~ Paxton fractured a vertebrae in his spine playing soccer. He had a couple of bone scans last week & we're heading back to Hughston Sports Clinic tomorrow to follow up with a Spine Specialist to discuss Paxton's treatment. From what the doctor has already told us, Paxton will most likely be in a hard, custom fit brace for 8-12 weeks... no sports or physical activity of any kind until the vertebrae is completely healed.

That is a LOT to deal with in ONE MONTH!!!

Thankfully, even in the midst of all of these things, my mind is focused on the ONE who gives me strength and joy!! NONE of this took God by surprise. He was not caught off guard. He is in control and IS holding Paxton, Me, Micah, and Philip in the palm of His hand. The following scripture is one of my favorites and has comforted me sooooo many times...

Isaiah 40:28-31 (NLT) "Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

HALLELUJAH!!! Oh, how I can personally testify to the strength the Lord gives!! I am so very weak on my own, but in Him... in Him I am a mighty, STRONG woman!!

I praise God, MY Creator, for the MANY blessings in my life. Yes, I have difficulties... but don't we all? I could be dealing with much worse... many people are!! God has richly blessed me with much more than I deserve. I will forever SHOUT and SING HIS PRAISES and give Him ALL the GLORY for everything good in my life!!! And as crazy as it may sound to some, I will also PRAISE HIM for my DIFFICULTIES... they WILL be used for growth, refinement, to build strength, to draw me closer to my God, to help me keep my focus on Him, and to add to my testimony so God can use me to help others. God WILL turn ALL of this around for MY GOOD and HIS GLORY!!! Can I get an AMEN!?

Prayers, Blessings, and Love to you all.....

48. July 25, 2011

"When I understand that everything happening to me is to make me more Christlike, it solves a great deal of anxiety." - A.W. Tozer

We finally have most of the results from my week long visit at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida last month. I have to admit, at times over the last few weeks I have felt quite overwhelmed. Yet, I KNOW that I am HIS and He is holding me in His hands!!

"You will keep him in perfect peace,Whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You!" Isaiah 26:3

What we found out is that, in addition to Lupus SLE & Pseudo Tumor Cerebri (along with issues with my thyroid, asthma, Raynaud's Phenomenon...the list goes on..) I have another auto immune disease, ANKYLOSING SPONDYLITIS (you can read more about it here http://www.medicinenet.com/ankylosing_spondylitis/article.htm)

The cardiologist I saw at Mayo also says I have inflammation in the blood vessels on my heart and has started me on daily Nitroglycerin. This really isn't a big deal, but is something my doctor's will continue to monitor.

I also had some abnormal results on tests that were run on my lungs, so they ordered a chest CT. They found two small "nodules" in my right lung. We are going to do another scan in 2 months... if there is any growth, we will do biopsies. In the meantime, I will see a Pulmonologist at Emory this Friday, July 29th.

"For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord." Jeremiah 30:17

While I do admit I have moments of frustration, aggrevation, self-pity, and just plain fear... I ultimately KNOW that I am right smack in the middle of God's plan for my life. I do NOT believe that God CAUSES sickness and pain in our lives, but I DO believe that sometimes He allows us to walk through pain, affliction, and trials for the purpose of shaping us and molding us into who He is calling us to be so that we are able to be used by Him in more powerful ways!!
"I am looking to the only One who holds me in His hands... His healing, His power, His love, He pours over me like tiny grains of sand... I am His, I am His, I am loved by the King and this... this shall sustain me!!" - From "I am His" by Michelle C. Bush

thank you all for your love and prayers!! God bless!
Michelle

47. July 11, 2011

This may be the very first time I've blogged twice in one day!! :o) WOW! I just felt burdened to.... As I prayed tonight, I felt a heaviness... then two different scriptures came to mind and immediately lifted the heaviness.... maybe someone else needs to hear this very thing....

"So we can say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?'" - Hebrews 13:6 (NLT)

When people hurt us, or do wrong against us, we are called to show them mercy, love, and grace. After all... that is what the Father has lavished on us, correct? I feel that I do that well, for the most part... I'm not always great at it... but we HAVE to GIVE IT OVER TO GOD!!

God spoke to me very clearly a while back... He has called me into ministry.... and He spoke very clearly that due to the calling He was placing on me, I would come under much attack. Well.... PROPHECY FULFILLED!! But I am confident that God will continue to use me and minister through me, not because of any greatness or worth on my part, but because He SAID it, I BELIEVE it, and He has the POWER to do it..... "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." - Philippians 1:6 (NLT)

The battle is truly NOT with flesh and blood... it is with the enemy of all enemies... No matter how tempting and easy it sometimes seems to put a human face on our attackers, it is none other than Satan himself. Therefore, we can't fight the battle on our own strength... in our own power, or go about things in the manner we THINK they should be handled. I know that God is helping and sustaining me through this... I know that He is battling the enemy on my behalf... AND on the behalf of those who have hurt me. I'm not the only one hurting. While they may be the ones doing wrong against me, they themselves are hurting... and GOD is THEIR HELPER just as He is MINE!!

My body is weak... my health is not good... (I will give an update in another post from my week at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville once all of my test results are in)... I struggle physically every day... in pain constantly... sometimes I struggle to do basic things... but I am CLINGING to Jeremiah 30:17 which says, "For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord." HALLELUJAH!!

I have NO IDEA what my future holds... I have no clue HOW God will use me in ministry or WHERE He will use me, but I KNOW that I am in HIS HANDS and HE is GUIDING my path!! I know that I am HIS!! I KNOW that HE calls me HIS CHOSEN, BEAUTIFUL, BELOVED PRINCESS!! I am royalty because my Heavenly Father is THE KING OF KINGS!! It matters not what anyone else has to say about me... my value comes from HIM ALONE!!

46. July 11, 2011

“Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." - Jeremiah 32:17

To say it has been a difficult month or two is an understatement. I've dealt with pretty significant health issues, deep hurt & betrayal, painful losses, and some difficult changes in my life and family. I have felt anger, bitterness, confusion, hurt, sorrow, frustration, sadness, fear, and pain.

It is often difficult to trust God when we're in the middle of a storm... Yet... I DO!! I believe Jeremiah 32:17 with all my heart. NOTHING is TOO HARD for MY GOD!! So when I have those moments of anger, frustration, confusion, fear.... they are only MOMENTARY!!! Because I am keeping my focus on HIM!! And I know that even though I can't see "a way out" of this storm, I have FAITH that God IS going to bring me through this storm as He has so many times before!! "Faith is being sure of what we hope for & certain of what we do not see." Hebrew 11:1 I don't see the resolution... I don't see how some of the things I'm dealing with can be restored... I don't see my physical healing... BUT I have FAITH and that faith SUSTAINS ME!!

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Pt 5:7

I will not be consumed by this or any storm. Yes, I have moments of worry, fear, doubt, frustration... because I am human... but they do not consume me. His love, His mercy, His grace, His PEACE, His PRESENCE.... they CONSUME ME.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." I am clinging to this as I seek the Lord for guidance and direction for our family, for decisions that Philip and I will make for my health, for direction for my ministry, and for resolutions to all of the difficult situations we and our family members are dealing with.

GOD is GOOD!! He loves and cares for YOU!! TRUST and OBEY HIM and you WILL see Him MOVE!!

Thank you all for your prayers!!

45. April 24, 2011

"He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" - Romans 8:32

Winter was rough!! I'm so thankful that SPRING is HERE!! Lupus has shaken my body all winter long. We (me and my docs) didn't want to increase my meds anymore, so we were trying to wait out the winter months to see how I would do once it started warming up.

PRAISE THE LORD it is getting WARMER and WARMER every day!! Although I can still be seen around town in pants and a fleece jacket (and getting lots of "are you crazy?" looks from folks passing by me) I am ever so thankful for the rising temperature outside each afternoon!! There are definite aspects of the Lupus that are much worse in the cold weather and much better in warmer weather.

We still have some decisions to make about my treatment as this disease seems to be progressing and affecting more systems in my body, but ultimately I know I am in God's hands and come what may, He IS carrying me through. I just have to take it one day at a time... and I will NOT take it lying down... God gives me the strength (physically AND emotionally) to make it through each and every day. Yes, some days are much harder than others, but I will press on! PRAISE THE LORD, I am a fighter because of HIM!! HE MAKES ME STRONG!!

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

As I reflected on our Lord & Savior's death on the cross, burial, and resurrection this weekend, I was constantly reminded that He CHOSE to die for ME! For my life... for my salvation... for my sins... for my eternity... for my love... for my sicknesses... He took on the sins of the world and died a brutal death because He loved me.

"Surely He hath borne our griefs (Hebrew: sicknesses) and carried our sorrows (Hebrew: pains) yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and by His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:4-5

My healing IS coming... and while I'm waiting, I will praise Him, serve Him, worship Him, love Him, and thank Him for my many blessings!!

"For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord." Jeremiah 30:17